Please allow me to blow off some steam for a few moments. It will make me feel better; I cannot guarantee the same outcome for you, so sorry.
The second I logged on to my work computer this morning, I had several thousand emails waiting for me. Okay, maybe not thousands, but at least 10 or so...none of which were funny. Strike one.
Shortly thereafter, a little elfish man started yelling at me. I don't do well in these situations. I generally start crying. Luckily I refrained until I was out of the elf's presence.
My least favorite department within my company chose today as the perfect time to send out their giant pile of gift cards. I hate gift card day. Processing gift cards takes a long time, and they never ever give me one. I think the unnamed department tests the level of tension in the air of my office and chooses the days the levels are highest to send out gift cards.
While reeling from my aggravation, I bent over to rummage through my purse and ripped my pants. This was not a minor tear; literally, the entire back seam of my pants split.
I went to the bathroom to see the damage and slipped on a small puddle of urine. This was the final straw. I started weeping like a Dumbo's mom when her baby had been taken. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I consider this the ultimate sadness.
Right before I reached the bottom of my rope, a lady walked by me and dramatically tripped. From that moment on, my day slowly improved. Now I'm playing Go Fish in my college course while wearing plastic children's glasses. Just FYI.
Until tomorrow.
~Heather
8 comments:
You forgot that your loving husband surprised you by bringing you dinner at work. I love you, too. :-P
I thoroughly enjoyed playing Go Fish with you while wearing plastic children's glasses. It was the highlight of my day!
I thoroughly enjoyed playing Go Fish with you while wearing plastic children's glasses. It was the highlight of my day!
Oops...didn't mean to send it twice. Sorry to get your hopes up and make you think you had a bunch of comments! :)
You didn't tell mw about the elfish man. Remember to tell me about him today! AND, you were in the ladies room when you checked your pants, right? The reason I ask is the urine puddle.....in the ladies room? How?
Tell me the name of this elfish man. He will disappear by tomorrow. This conversation didn't happen.
All I want to know is who was the elfish man???
I would be happy to write a letter of recommendation for you to receive a gift card. After years of you dealing with this agony, it is time for compensatory action.
In other news, I did literally "laugh out loud" at this posting! My apologies.
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