Here is my uplifting realization of the day: No matter how ugly I feel on any given day, I can rest assured that I still look better than I did upon waking up that morning. I don't know what happens to me during the hours I sleep, but I can promise that it can't be anything good. Even more than developing a mullet every night, the part that confuses me the most is how, throughout my slumber, the makeup I take off before bed reappears and smears itself all over my face. This picture of me at age 5(ish) is still an accurate view of how I look in the morning, minus the makeup.
Secondly, I never thought I would say this: Today I am grateful for my larger-than-ideal rear end. Upon arriving home for lunch all of the toilet seats had been removed from the toilets and were being run through the dishwasher. (I think my husband is nesting.) Well, since I refuse to take time during the work day to visit the ladies' room, my bladder was on the verge of bursting. I had to go for it. No turning back. Luckily for me, it just so happens that my hips are wide enough that I don't even need a toilet seat. I have my children to thank for that.
I have [literally] 36 mosquito bites right now. It could rise to 37 at any second. I visualize swarms of mosquitoes sitting outside my front door in tiny little lawn chairs waiting for me to appear. If my blood is really that tasty, I guess I should be thankful that vampires aren't real.
I had a lady ask me at work today if I was going to start dieting again soon. So I popped her in the nose.
There was a lady interviewing today for a professional position with my company. I did not base my opinion of her on her crumpled baggy suit. Instead, I based it on the very loud cell phone conversation she had in the lobby. She taught me that, when applying for a job, it probably isn't a good idea to scream obscenities, even if you are on a break from the interview.
You're welcome.
~Heather
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