Take my word for it...

Never put a bag of cut grass in the trunk of a car during an Oklahoma summer. 95+ degree heat transforms the sweet aroma of springtime lawns into that of a dreadful, rotten, decaying something-or-other. I think the smell Jerry and Elaine encountered in Seinfeld Episode #61 must have been the result of putrid lawn clippings.

Never combine these ingredients into a cold salad: spinach leaves, strawberries, deli turkey meat, dry oats, vinegar. It is not good. The oats soak up the vinegar and create a bitter-tasting putty-like substance.

Never attend a float trip without taking sunscreen the week before meeting new people, especially if you are fair-skinned redhead. The week before starting a new junior high, I thought it would be a good idea to get the worst sunburn ever experienced by a human. By the time the first day of school came around, my entire body was peeling and I had 4 or 5 fever blisters on my lips. I looked like my skin and my insides had switched places. I didn't make many friends that year.

Never, and I mean never...under any circumstances, visit the restroom when your boss and you are the only ones in the building without being 100% sure there is an available plunger nearby. You never know when the toilet is going to decide not to flush. You never know when you may need a plunger. You never know when your male boss is going to step in to help repair an overflowing potty and see first-hand what your waste looks like. It is not a comfortable situation. Trust me.

Until tomorrow.

~Heather

P.S. I'm entering writer's block. If there is a topic you wish me to cover, please let me know.