Let me just tell you about it.

I started a new job one week ago tomorrow. Thus far, I have done very few things right. Let me tell you about it. I am teaching "Stories and Science" and "Language" class to 3 year olds. In short, this consists of teaching 40 (give or take) 3 year olds their letters, math skills, safety lessons, etc. Doing this is surprisingly easy. Granted, I need to brush up on my sign language alphabet, but otherwise it's not too difficult. However, outside of the classroom I have done many, many things wrong. Here is a list:

1. I am currently working the hours 8:30-5:30. I found out yesterday (on day 4) that 8:30 ACTUALLY means no later than 8:15. So, I've been 15 minutes late since Day 1. Whoops.

2. "Wear comfortable shoes" ACTUALLY means "You must wear tennis shoes." So the 3 out of 4 days that I wore comfortable leather dress shoes, I was actually breaking dress code. Whoops. Too bad I just bought brand new comfortable leather shoes that I can no longer wear.

3. I wear uniforms, which is fine. However, I just found out yesterday while wearing the uniform plaid that "under no circumstances should a teacher wear the uniform plaid."  So, I went home at nap time to change into the acceptable dark navy trouser pants. Mistakenly, instead of putting on my navy pants, I put on black pants---which is also VERY unacceptable. Whoops. (P.S. Too bad I just spent $35 on a plaid skirt that I can no longer wear.)

4. I was told that during nap time (from 1:00-3:00), teachers are allowed to run errands, etc. So, I've been running errands. Turns out, I am only allowed to take on-site breaks from 2:00-2:35. Whoops.

5. I was asked to fill out my W-4 forms and turn in my drivers license so that a copy could be made. I did this on Monday (November 1). My drivers license expired on Sunday (October 31), so it is no longer valid. Thus, I did not get paid on Tuesday.

6. I am not allowed to push the children on the swings more than 3 pushes. I have spent the majority of the 3 recesses per day for 4 days pushing the children on swings. In addition, 3 year olds are not allowed to play on the monkey bars. I have been lifting them onto the monkey bars for 4 days. Whoops.

7. I was told not to leave my classroom at nap time until all of the children are asleep. Turns out, this actually means "Do not leave your classroom until 1:25. At 1:25, you MUST leave your classroom so the other teachers can be relieved for their planning period." I did not realize this until 1:30 when one of the teachers came into my room and told me that they had been waiting on me so that they could eat lunch. Whoops.

8. 3 year olds are required to go to the potty before lunch time, whether they need to or not. I learned this the hard way. Whoops.

9. If you do not ask for help from the other teachers, they become admittedly frustrated with you. That sucks.

10. I have no friends. The other teachers do not get my random, sarcastic, dry humor at all. They basically think that I am the strange, non-uniform-wearing, illegally-swing-pushing new girl. Sigh.

There's a lot to say for having a job for which you generally know what you're doing. I hope I can generally know what I'm doing again someday soon.

Luckily, I should have some funny 3 year old sentences to share with you soon.

~Heather